"Ulgh. These aren't coffee beans, they're raisins. Chocolate covered raisins. What kind of sick joke is that?"

Sniffs himself, "Whew! Jeeeez."


"If they don't have good food there, I'll eat a French person. They deserve it, they're so rude here."


A string of Ian's announcements. He has been my sole companion these past 7 weeks. As of next week, I will be accepting sympathy cards in Italy.