Tonight went better than last week, which was better than any other week. Thank God I wasn't as sick and have been slowly defeating the head cold.
It's hard to balance not chasing someone down and also not standing there and doing nothing which leads to getting hit. It's a lot to remember and think about. Takes time to make it more instinctual.
My one allowance food-wise is that every Thursday I visit my grandmother and while I've managed to figure out timing enough to not be there for lunch or dinner, I cannot escape her offer to feed me Milano cookies. For some reason she loves to have me eat a cookie. Always has. Always will. I figure since I spend the other 167 hours of the week trying to devour as much squash, quinoa, lettuce, and beets as possible, my training and habits shouldn't be too affected by a couple cookies. It didn't seem to hurt sparring tonight.
Learning to spar light is difficult. It's intended to be technically sound and paced differently than hard or medium sparring. Hard sparring I'm still mostly trying to survive and throw at least a couple solid combos. Knocked knees hard with Jhordan tonight. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," I winced and stepped back. In a fight I wouldn't, but I'd never been nailed like that before and wanted to assess it once so next time it happens I know I'm fine. A lot of training is simply getting used to knocks and pressure. You have to first get used to being uncomfortable.
I used to tap a lot in rolling when it just became uncomfortable to not breathe. Now Coach yells at me that I wait too long when I'm being heel-hooked. last a little longer most times when a 220lb. (or more) dude has crushed the air out of my lungs and I take the smallest breaths I can while trying to make small adjustments to escape. Still haven't gotten to that equivalent point in sparring though. I turn away or shell up when getting hit and just stand there.
The other issue is that my emotions dictate my technique. It's my personality to be cool with whatever status-quo is for the moment but if someone ups the ante (or stops doing their job properly, say at work), I'll immediately react. As if my subconscious is always on her toes waiting for the moment she can unleash. Unfortunately she does not unleash with a whole lot of skill behind her aggression which costs me against a more skilled opponent.
Overall a good night. Drank a lot of water and Coach is content with my weight. Left at 158.4 tonight, so a little over two pounds away from fight weight. Icing my knee tonight in hopes it won't swell for a double shift of work tomorrow.