Meant to Be

Alex & Anni at Makers Studio, Rochester NY

I'm here again because last week my mom and I booked a plane ticket to New Zealand for two weeks. Or maybe because there are some things we as individuals are compelled to do and one of those for me is to write.

It's been three years since I graduated university and four since I've travelled outside the U.S. or anywhere besides a quick cross-country drive to Los Angeles a couple years ago.

I fell in love in the worst way.
I fell in love in the way that you read about in Wuthering Heights where they'll never be together in spite of themselves and they marry other people.

I quit two good jobs.

I am poorer and happier than I have ever been (my mom is taking me to New Zealand).

The love didn't work out and ended sadly, the kind of way you imagine simply cannot happen as it defies that deep love children imagine to exist. When you find something like that, you're not supposed to just let it fall through one's hands because doing so defies logic of the heart which is perhaps the most convoluted and important logic there is. Leaving the jobs needed to happen as a catalyst to find something more but the really good one was a result of that love story abruptly ending.

There's still people that love each other, like Alex and Anni. Alex co-owns the gallery/studio/cafe I work at for one of my jobs. The other is part-time in one of the city's nicest restaurants.

Aside from that, I'm working towards selling kombucha and have started an Instagram @boochababes and a blog Boocha Babes. Every night the thing that has kept me going and happiest is the MMA gym I started at about a year ago. I had one jiu jitsu tournament back in October and against a couple of far-more experienced and tough women, because there aren't a lot of women to go against, won one of three matches by standing marcelotine choke. Here's the video at 10th Planet Good Fight Team Empire.

I'm going to write again because I was made to. The way I stand on the mats some nights and feel like I was made to.